5.10.08

Bangkok Dangerous: Too Dangerous To Watch

“My name is Joe,” says the all-too-familiar, droopy, slow voice. “And this is what I do.” If his calling is making Bangkok Dangerous a bad film, then he’s right.

A remake of a Thai thriller by its original makers no less, Bangkok Dangerous tells the story of a hitman, Joe (Nicolas Cage), who goes to Bangkok for a month-long assignment to kill four people for a gang lord. The original film’s main character is a deaf-mute hitman whose disability makes him a fearless, unflinching gunman. Unable to hear the mercy cries of his victims, he is a ruthless killing machine.

In the remake, we get Nicolas Cage who is anything but ruthless. Cage decimates people on screen with his guns blazing and audiences at home with his overt under-acting. It’s a shame to see him doing roles like these when we’ve seen him do so much better. Matchstick Men, Adaptation, City of Angels and Leaving Las Vegas are just a few that show off his acting prowess, and it’s not like he can’t act in action adventures either. Films like The Rock and the National Treasure franchise prove that he can bring his game even when the going gets tough. But frankly, Cage falls flat on his face here.

Joining Cage on the acting reins is Shahkrit Yamnarm who plays Kong, a petty thief who helps Joe along with small jobs. Yamnarm is an established Thai actor and holds up against the likes of Cage on screen, but with Cage doing such a bad job, it’s no wonder actors like Yamnarm are called “supporting” actors. To help with the “support” is Charlie Yeung Choi-Nei, a Hong Kong actress, whose character is Cage’s love interest and the obligatory pretty face.

The Pang Brothers directed the original and they’re no stranger to Hollywood re-making their originals. Danny Pang Fat and Oxide Pang Chun startled audiences with a new kind of horror with their hit, The Eye. Spawning two lackluster sequels, the duo sold the re-make rights to Hollywood and we got the terrible US re-make with Jessica Alba in the lead role. But for Bangkok Dangerous, they were given the opportunity by Cage to direct the remake themselves, since the Oscar-winning actor had purchased the rights.

Remakes are tricky business. Like the sword that cuts both ways, film-makers have to be careful with the amount of changes that they make or not. A bad example of a remake would be Godzilla. The 1999 film by the people that brought us Independence Day, Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich, wasn’t much different and the acting was sub par, even by the CGI monster. A good example of a remake would be The Departed. Originally, titled Internal Affairs, this 2002 Hong Kong blockbuster’s remake in 2006 gave director Martin Scorcese his first Oscar and widespread critical and blockbuster acclaim.

Coming back to Bangkok Dangerous, this film is vastly inferior to the original. For one, Cage’s choice to star as the lead defeats the purpose of the original character. “We’d like to keep him the same, but we understand that from a marketing point of view Nic needs to have some lines,” Oxide Pang Chun told International Herald Tribune. And by giving his character lines they ultimately ended up changing the entire concept of the original plot.

For a moment let’s forget this is actually a remake. But looking at it from a completely open perspective doesn’t even change a thing. The film or perhaps the directors don’t ask anything from Cage. They have at their disposal one of the better actors (forget the fact that he makes bad film choices) and they let him sleepwalk through scene after scene.

It’s a shame to see Cage doing roles like these when we’ve seen him do so much better. Matchstick Men, Adaptation, City of Angels and Leaving Las Vegas are just a few that show off his acting prowess, and it’s not like he can’t act in action adventures either. Films like The Rock and the National Treasure franchise prove that he can bring his game even when the going gets tough. But frankly, he falls flat on his face in Bangkok Dangerous.

The story isn’t given time to develop, the characters appear and disappear which is disappointing as the best action films give their characters room to breathe. On the contrary, Bangkok Dangerous chokes the very life out of its characters with its plot threads.

Understandably, critics round the world have panned the film. Nahtan Lee of the New York Times writes: “Of all the shoddy, insipid qualities of Bangkok Dangerous, the most egregious is the most fundamental: The film is simply dreadful to look at. We have at long last reached the nadir of the Malnourished Mood at the cinema, that sickly palate of grimy greens and blues, ubiquitous since The Matrix, employed by thrillers with atmospheric pretensions.” The film looks like something is about to happen — you can feel the tension mounting only to have the bubble burst by the annoying pin of anti-climax.

Hollywood powerhouse magazine gives a similar critique, “Heavy on the spice and cheap on the meat, Bangkok Dangerous adds plenty of Thai seasoning to the Hollywood lone-assassin recipe, but the result is only mildly pungent. Rehashing certain elements — including striking location shooting — that marked their much grittier 1999 feature of the same title, Hong Kong’s Pang brothers increase the decibel level of the gunshots and the schmaltz level of the scenario, but such embellishments, not to mention a Nicolas Cage doused with Clairol, make this hefty remake seem less dangerous than incongruous. Low September B.O. body count should be surpassed by acceptable ancillary returns.”

The film grossed $7.8 million in its opening weekend, which was good enough for the studio to get its money back but not good enough for it to regain the entire $40 million. It was also the lowest grossing films to reach the No. 1 spot.

If you have to see a good action movie with Nicolas Cage in it, this is probably not the one for you. You’re better off trying to see Next which was released earlier this year or the National Treasure sequel which was surprisingly much better than Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

All in all, you’re better off renting Bangkok Dangerous when there’s nothing else to watch and preferably watch it with friends. At least that way there will be fun on the expense of Cage’s bad acting, receding hairline and haircut, and awful costumes.
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